Beloved
So, after reading that Collection 1 was all black and white, you find the first one is in color! Why? Well, the original “Beloved” mandala WAS in black/white though it was colored very soon because I realized that the acknowledgement of many of these patterns and habits was possible for me because I knew I was safe to do so. For me, it was the first and most vital of Wisdom's whispers.
Opening to living life loved launches a journey into the unknown, and the first yes for me as a codependent was to be honest with and learn about myself. My life-long teachings were that doing so was selfish and not to be trusted.
Yet through therapy, a deep desire and longing to understand and learn about myself, and coming across a particular article, I came to the realization that “You cannot give what you do not have”. I don’t know the author of that quote, but it landed in me, and I more and more opened to Plato’s “An unexamined life is not worth living” – that it made sense if I really desired to know authenticity. But yes, it is very scary because of the unconscious, unacknowledged fear that it will just confirm my deepest belief that I REALLY am “not enough”.
Yet with inexpressible gratitude, the words came one day as to how I “tasted” the reality of Ephesians 3:14-19.
- https://sojo.net/articles/sin-guilt-and-psychology-what-i-wish-all-pastors-knew “Sin, Guilt, and Psychology: What I Wish All Pastors Knew.” (Dated 03-04-2014 by Derek Flood)
- Ephesians 3:14-19
A friend of mine recently emailed to let me know how the Beloved mandala spoke to her during a trying event in her life: ...I felt like the clanger in a bell, banging up against opposing emotions... battered. During this time my heart and my mind kept returning to the "Beloved" mandala that you sent me. Sometimes it made me feel like that word had been emblazoned on my heart, and other times it felt like a wax seal on my heart, like an icon for the chant that says, "place me as a seal upon your heart". It speaks to me of being loved and held.