Let Go

I slowly, very, very slowly, began to understand that “letting go” did not mean resignation (which, to me, meant I had no choices) to a situation, but at one particular time, it was letting go of all the “shoulds” I tried so hard to be – I should be the perfect wife, mother, friend, woman!  And sadly, I really thought that since God seemed to require that, I somehow “should” be able to do it.  But it was just a cover-up for really believing I was not enough.   
I am thankful to have eventually learned a different definition of surrender or letting go – for me, it is surrendering to a higher Intelligence in accepting what “is” and being willing to listen and be guided to act, wait, or just be.  Down deep it is trusting Spirit who sustains, guides, and loves with “… continuously renewed immediacy.”  Thank you, Cynthia Bourgeault, for those words.